honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
