wrigley field is MILF paradise
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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