I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
