This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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