problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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