So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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