Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
