Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize