Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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