No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
whose parrot is this?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
