I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize