first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
