So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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