Porn is love you can see.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize