I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
