Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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