i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
