What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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