dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
