ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
