Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
be right there i have to get my cape
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
