OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Its about making memories worth repressing
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
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