I will die if light touches me.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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