could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
