omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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