just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
