Someone shit on the floor
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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