see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
