Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
