You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
