your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
