You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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