apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
