we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I didn't notice because vodka
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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