you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
