4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
