And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
