Three words: puerto rican gang bang
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
