Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
