i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
