Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
