why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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