you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
