you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
