the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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