I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
