Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
