there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
