It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize