I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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