Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
