apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
