was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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