I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
