Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
