he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
