I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
