The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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