I just cut my nipple shaving
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
