New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
