I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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