She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize
