If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
