Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
