And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
