Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
