we have officially lost it.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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