There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just invented taco cereal.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
